Hi and assalamualaikum. This story is actually a sequel to "Before I'm Gone Forever". So, if you have not read that short story, go read it first (click on the title) and proceed to read this one afterwards. Thank you in advance!


“Yuni, Yuni, wake up!”

Yuni opened her eyes widely and gasped. I smiled at her and she hugged me tightly.


Yuni uttered weakly into my ears.

“I had a dream. I thought I lost you.”

“No, Yuni. Ji is here. Always here.”

I caressed her back to calm her down.
“This is not your field but you’re still willing to help. I am so glad to have a friend like you, Ji.”

Yuni said to me while she was busy with her measuring tape, pencil and cloths.

“I am glad to help. It’s fun, anyway.”

Yuni only replied with a smile. Her eyes were focused on the cloths she’s cutting. I was taking a look at the models who want to attend for our audition on the screen. We asked them to email their details along with their pictures. My task was to choose the models for Yuni’s upcoming show. Yuni did not want any famous models as she wanted to keep the budget low. So she looked for new and fresh models, the ones who have the potential to become famous afterwards. Yuni had been planning this for quite a long time. We were working in her studio. This show is a public show that will be held at a famous hotel in our city in order to introduce Yuni as a fashion designer to the world. There were many people in the team. Yuni started the plan by voicing it out to me. She said she was tired of keeping her collections to herself. It’s time to show it to the world. I agreed without a doubt and voluntarily wanted to help her out. She said no worries about the money as she had figured it out beforehand. So, I only helped her to look for the people that would like to work with her. We needed more hands, like tailors, models, designer to design the stage and the hall where the show will be held. I admit, it was not easy but it is harder to see Yuni in depression and sadness.
Since I joined Yuni and the team, I have gained a lot of new things from her. It’s not too much to say that she is now an expert. She has a bright future in this fashion thingy. The people in the team were also impressed by her designs and that’s why they really wanted to be a part of her show. I felt proud of Yuni. Yuni really worked hard on this. It’s her first fashion show ever and she’s going to debut as a fashion designer, finally. She was going to introduce her design of cloths. Yuni said she does not want fashion to be looked as only a trend. Let our cloths, our shirts and everything we wear be a part of us, let it be our personality, let it be something that lifts us up. Everyone needs different style and colours. In designing, Yuni considered every aspect that matters – who is going to wear it? What kind of style that people demand for? Why they must wear this kind of shirt with that kind of jeans? How does it make them feel? She spent a lot of time on researching and surveying on the internet and magazines. Sometimes, we spent the night at the studio. There’s no time to go back home. We rarely sleep. Everyone was so busy. Coffee had become our main source of energy. I believed we took more caffeine than proper food. It took us months to prepare everything.
“Okay. Tonight is the night.”

            Yuni hold my hand. Her hand was cold but I could see sweat formed on her forehead. Obviously, she was nervous. I took a tissue from my purse and wiped the sweats on her forehead with my other hand.

“It’s going to be okay. Relax and calm down. We’ve got everything ready. Just leave the rest to Him. Okay?”

Yuni smiled a little and nodded. She excused herself to the backstage to make sure everything is all right. I turned around and saw the seats were all full. The audience were here and the show was going to start in any minute. I began to feel nervous too. 


A tap on my shoulder frightened me. It was Suri.

“Hi! Glad you made it!”

Suri was starting to talk and it’s unstoppable. She talked about she promised Yuni not to miss the show, the handsome models, handsome guys all over the place and she’s excited. I just nodded my head and did not really pay much attention.

“Oh God it’s going to be great.”
And she finally stopped. Then continued again. This lady just did not know how to stay silent.

“Excuse me for asking this, but, aren’t you tired?”
“Of what?”
“Of Yuni. You’ve been doing a lot for her. I noticed you’re paying too much attention on her. You’re not this close before I mean well, not after...”
“No. Never. I am doing fine and will never get tired of her, will never get tired of helping her out.”
“I don’t think what you’re doing now is good for her.”
“I don’t see anything is wrong with that. I mean look around you, where are we now? At her show. All I know is she needs me and I need her too. That’s it.”
“I get that but I think she needs a treat...”
“Why don’t we take a seat? The show is going to start in any moment.”

We sat at the front row. The emcee announced the audience to take a seat as the show is about to start. Suri was not the first person to ask that question. Don’t they understand the value of friendship, love, sincerity? What is not good for her?  A friend who’s willing to catch a bullet for her? Bullshit. 

“It’s starting.” Yuni whispered to me. My thoughts stopped when I saw her. She gave me a smile and I replied. She was genuinely happy and excited for this. She said hi to Suri and thanked her for coming. Suri and I exchanged look but I looked away instantly and focused on the runway. The audience were cheering and clapping. Yuni was delighted to receive such response.
After the show ended, many people came to see Yuni. They congratulated Yuni for such an amazing collection she has. Some other designers gave compliments for the fantastic show she organised. Yuni could not say much except to thank them.

“Are you satisfied with the show?” I asked her who’s still smiling from ear to ear.
“I am on cloud nine! Everything went smoothly and everyone likes it!” she said excitedly.
“I won’t be able to do this without you, Ji. Thanks to you.”
“No, Yuni. I was just giving a hand. That amazing show was the result of your hard work.”

Yuni only smiled and thanked me again. Minutes later we arrived at Yuni’s house. We saw her parents’ car in the garage. They must be home already. Yuni told me that her uncle was hospitalized a few days ago. So, Yuni’s parents went to visit him this morning and that was why they did not attend their daughter’s fashion show. Yuni invited me to go inside first. I refused but she insisted. So, we both went inside. Yuni’s parents welcomed me warmly. We’ve known each other for quite long time. 

“Why don’t you serve us some drinks, Yuni?” Yuni’s mother, Aunty Maria asked Yuni to go to kitchen. Yuni excused herself. 

“Thank you for taking care of her, dear. I don’t know how to thank you. You really helped her and us a lot when we can’t find any way out.”

Aunty Maria started the conversation right after Yuni disappeared from our sight. Yuni’s father also nodded his head and expressed his gratitude.

“She is our only daughter. Now that she has you, it’s like we’re having two daughters now.”

Yuni’s father made us laughed. I told them I am tired of listening them thanking me each time we meet.  They also asked the same question as Suri. 

“Will she be okay?”

“Well, for the moment, she is doing well. She is happier than before, obviously.”

Seconds later, Yuni came in. She handed the drinks to everyone.

“And lastly, for you. Ji’s favourite drink, lemon tea.”

I thanked her. We continued talking on random topics. It’s such a great moment to spend it with good chats. Later, I excused myself as it’s almost midnight. I still need to drive for a half an hour or so to reach my home. I said goodbye and drove home. On my way home, I was thinking of Yuni. I let out a sigh. I hope I was doing a right thing. As soon as I reached home, I went straight to my bedroom and lay down on the bed. Everyone was sleeping soundly already. I watched the stars, the glow in the dark star-shaped stickers on my dark blue ceiling. I enjoyed watching them each night before I doze off. Slowly, my eyes started to feel heavy. Indeed, it was a long day. I could not remember when the last time I actually had a proper sleep. I fell asleep.
The ringtone from my phone woke me up. I looked at the screen and Yuni’s name appeared. At 3 a.m? 

“Oh, dear. Please come over now! It’s Yuni. Please come now. Please! Quick!”
“Okay, okay. I’ll be right there.”

It was Aunty Maria. She sounded panic and worried. What has happened to Yuni this time? Is she sick again? If Yuni was sick, Aunty Maria should have called ambulance instead of me. I grabbed my sweater that was hanging behind door and my car keys. I drove with 140 km/j speed towards Yuni’s house. I was sweating heavily, worried of what might had happened to Yuni. Aunty Maria’s voice was so serious and panicked. I finally reached in front of Yuni’s house and as soon as I got out of my car, I heard someone was screaming.


I knew that voice even though it was at high pitch. I sprinted to the door and tried to open the door. Damn. It was locked. I rang the bell with my right hand and knocked the door with my left hand simultaneously a few times before Yuni’s father opened the door. Again, I heard Yuni screamed. I rushed to her room, ignoring her father. I saw Yuni was on her bed with her eyes closed but her mouth kept shouting for Ji. I went closer to her and sat beside her on the bed. I hold her shoulders and shook her a little to wake her up.

“Hey, Yuni! Ji is here. I am here. Wake up!”

Yuni opened her eyes and hugged me right away. I told her to calm down and rubbed her back to comfort her. I stroke her hair and softly caressed her head. 

“I had a nightmare again. I saw you and you walked away. I thought you were leaving me.” Yuni said between her sobs.

“It’s just a dream. Look. I am here, right? I’ll always be there for you even it is...”
I looked at the watch on the table beside her bed.
“...even if it is 3.45 in the morning.”

Yuni laughed a little.

“I am sorry I made everyone went panic and made you drive at this hour.”
“Why don’t Ji spend a night here? I mean you can leave when the sun is up. It’s dangerous to drive this late, you know.”

I looked at Aunty Maria and she mouthed please. She insisted me to stay until the morning. Yuni seemed okay with it and she even suggested me to sleep on her bed. I could not say anything except to agree. I stood up to close the door. Before leaving the room, Aunty Maria whispered to me

“I am so sorry you have to do this again. But she needs you at the moment and I don’t know what else I should do.”
“It’s okay.” I replied shortly.
Later, both of us went to sleep. We’re really tired so we fell asleep easily.


I left the house the next morning after making sure Yuni had her breakfast. I drove to my house and I could not avoid thinking of Yuni. I hope I was doing the right thing, the best thing for her. I could not avoid it anyway. I stepped into my house and my mother was there in front of the TV. 

“Where have you been?”

I forgot that I did not tell anyone that I went to Yuni’s. Well, everyone was asleep anyway. I explained everything to my mother and my mother only shook her head. She was just like the others. Always ask am I not tired doing this. But the difference was my mother will add

“However, I am proud of you, proud of having such kind hearted daughter like you. I hope you don’t overdo yourself.”
“Mom, I’m okay.”

I went up to my room and only then I realised I left my phone at Yuni’s place. I thought God was just signalling me to visit Yuni again today. I washed myself and get dressed. I had another plan other than just going to Yuni’s again and take my phone back. I guess we could spend time together today. Movies, perhaps. I was at the stairs when I heard someone rang the bell. I thought it could be Yuni. Mom must have gone to the market. I opened the door and exactly, it was Yuni. But she seemed a little bit different. She usually smiles but this time her head was facing the floor. In her hand was my phone which she hold it firmly like she was never going to let it go.

“Hey! I was just thinking to go to your house, pick you up and go to movies or...”
“Shut up.” She said with a stern voice. I startled. She was never like this before. I was getting nervous I could not utter a word. Seconds later, Yuni’s tears start to roll down her cheeks out of the blue. Damn! Something is really wrong, I thought to myself.  I called her name repeatedly but she did not response. She was rooted to the ground. I invited her to come in but she remained silent.

“You’re not her!” she suddenly shouted and frightened me again. One thing I keep repeating in my mind “Did she realise it already?” I pretended to be clueless and keep asking her what is wrong.

“How could you let me live like this?”
“Wait. I don’t understand...”
“Stop pretending, Yazmin!” and again, she shouted. 

She threw my phone and it hit me directly on the face and fell down to the ground. It accidentally unlocked. I saw photos of me with some other people back in the university. The photo of me and her during the university project also appeared on the screen. Maybe she had looked through my phone. I knew it. She remembered everything. Her memory has come back after looking at those photos.

“You’re not her! My Ji is dead! Why...? Why, Yazmin?! What are you trying to do?!”

She cried and started pulling her hair. I approached her and tried to reach her hands to stop her from hurting herself. I tried to explain to her everything but she did not want to listen.

“Stay away from me!” she pushed me hard and I fell on the ground.

 It hurt me until I could not get up. I think I have sprained my ankle. My back was also hurting too. She’s suddenly unbelievably strong. 

She ran away and seemed lost. She kept walking slowly but was not heading towards her car. She was heading to the road. She stopped by the roadside and looked left and right repeatedly like she did not know this place. She did not know where to go. Depressed of the situation, she grabbed her hair again and shouted at top of her lungs. I got up painfully and shuffled towards her. I called her name. She turned back and ran away from me. She crossed the road. I followed her.

“Yuni, wait! Listen to me!”

She looked back to me and her expression changed from sadness mixed with anger to surprise mixed with scared.
“Yazmin, look out!” she shouted at me.
I looked on my right side and only then I realised I was standing right on the road and a car was speeding towards me. I could not move as I was in so much pain and became clueless. Suddenly, bam! My knees bent backwards and I lost my balance. Again, my back hit the ground as well as the back of my head. I felt drips of blood at the back of my head. I lay down on the road and all I could see was the sky. And Yuni’s face appeared. She came back for me. Tears were still in her eyes. She asked for help from people to get an ambulance. She lifted my head and rested it on her lap.

“Yazmin, hold on.”

Then everything went dark.
I opened my eyes. I saw unfamiliar ceiling. It’s all white. I knew I was not in my room or in my house. I heard a familiar voice called my name. I turned my head to the left and saw my mother’s face and a bag of blood flowed into my veins.

“How are you feeling, Yazmin?”
“I don’t know. What happened? Why am I here?”
“You were hit by a car for trying to catch me.”

I heard another voice on my right side. I did not notice there was somebody else in the room. It was Yuni. I remembered what happened. The incident before I got hit keeps replaying in my mind. I was glad to see her safe, anyway. But at the same time I was nervous. I don’t know how to tell Yuni about everything that happened. How to explain to her about her delusion? Or did she know about it already? I wanted to explain to her why I imposed as Ji. No, wait. I did not impose as Ji. She was the one who saw Ji when she saw me. I tried to speak but the only word that came out of my mouth was “Um”. Finally, Yuni was the one who start the conversation.

“It’s okay, Yazmin. I am here to apologise. I was too emotional and got carried away. You helped me a lot , so, yeah, thank you so much for everything you did. You helped me to move on after Ji’s...”

She paused and I could see she was holding back tears.

“...after Ji’s death. I can’t thank you enough.”
“No, Yuni. It’s no big deal..”
“It is a big deal! Why, Yazmin? You let me live in lies. Why?”

She stared at me waiting for an answer. I inhaled deeply.

“I guess you pretty much have remembered this. 4 months, Yuni. After Ji’s death you locked yourself up in your room. You shut people out from your life. You were overwhelmed with sorrow, loneliness and guilt. You just could not move on. You quit studying. You quit everything. You almost took your own life so that you could meet Ji. One day, I visited you and you allowed me to get near to you. You looked me right into the eyes and called me Ji. You smiled. Your mother said it was your first smile after Ji’s funeral. That time, I thought this is the only way to help you move on, to let you believe that Ji is still alive and always be by your side. I thought that was the only way to get you out from the darkness and get your life together. After that, we spent time together a lot and we did the show and stuff. Since then, you’re you again. Happy, cheerful, passionate, talkative. You’re finally alive again. Your parents were so happy to see you finally able to do something else then crying and mourning. I did not have the heart to see you in misery and depressed and that is why I was willing to help you. I won’t allow you to go through it all alone because I am here to help you. If living in your delusional world could help you to be happy again, then I will live in that world to the fullest no matter how idiot, how insane it could be. Many people said it is not good to let you live in comforting lies but I cannot hurt you and let you go deeply into the bitter truth with sadness. I just want to give you a moment of happiness in your life. That’s all. You’ve had it enough.”

I explained to her every detail. She started to cry again. Did I say anything wrong? I apologise to her if my action only make her to feel worse but again, I emphasized I just want her to be happy and able to move on.

“I am so ashamed of my act. I’ve totally lost my sanity when I lost Ji. Why are you being so nice to me? Before this I only work for you, I mean I was just giving a hand. After that I left everything. We’re not even friends before.”

“Yuni, I am not being nice. I am being a friend. In my whole life, I never have a true friend, a friend who loves me like you did. A friend who cares for me like you did. A friend who needs me as much as you did. I’ve been living with the famous people but they never really care about friendship. When I imposed as Ji, finally, I have someone to share my stories, to be crazy with and someone who will take care of me. I know you may never intended to do it for me, you did that because you thought I were Ji but it’s okay for me. At least I got the chance to feel like I am needed in someone’s life. Even it’s not literally me but I could feel it. It’s a win-win situation. You need someone to help you to move on and I need someone who I can call as a friend in my life. We both were living in delusions.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Plus, I felt guilty. Ji did not have the chance to spend her last moments with you because I keep pushing the team to settle everything for that damn show. I’m really sorry for whatever happened between you and Ji because I was being selfish.”
“No, Yazmin. It’s my own fault. It’s me who did not appreciate Ji and abandoned her at the first place.”

Both of us kept silence for a while.

“Shall we pursue our friendship as usual? But of course you as yourself.”

We laughed to that. 

“Why not?”

Yuni raised her pinky finger.

“Stay with me, okay?”

I entwined my pinky finger with hers.


Thank you so much for reading! It's quite lengthy. 9 pages, people, 9 pages. Hahaha. Please tell me what you think. Grammatical errors, feedbacks, anything that you wish to tell me, please let me know! 

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